Sitting on my ass last night a commercial for Binaca Breath Spray came on and it didn’t really seem like much at first. That is until the beautiful blonde turned and smiled right at me. It was love at first site and I’m certain that she feels the same towards me (even though the commercial would have you believe that the guy in the ad was going to get lucky)

No I am sorry but she is mine and just as soon as I find out who the hell she is, I’m to begin a long steamy affair with her and she and I will rule over the land with a firm but gentle hand.

Or I will be forced by my therapist to begin taking my meds again… whichever comes first. Name name name… just need a name people!

And for you video lovers out there…here she is in all of her blonde b&w glory

“Are you ready?” Um HELL YES!!

Okay so I’m sure you are thinking “I’ve seen better” and that may be true but there’s just something about this image that makes my mouth water.

Really can you blame me? I know nothing else about this girl and haven’t a clue as to what she looks like from the front and you know, it doesn’t matter one bit. To me it’s not about the girl anyway. It’s about her perfect ass in some pretty pink panties and I almost want to stop typing just to pleasure myself… but I’ll refrain.

Truth is that I used to be a total ass man and by that I don’t mean that I was a prick (though I probably was) no I mean that the backside of a female was my favorite part.

As time when on I started noticing the other parts and while in my youth I really didn’t care what a girl’s juggs looked like. Nope, I only cared that she had a nice ass. Too bad that I rarely got a hold of what I would consider a great ass. Only able to look at them from a far as they passed in the mall. Such is life though and now I have the internet to completely depress me what with the thousands of hot booty photos out there now that sexting and self shots are all the rage.

Still even though I find myself attracted a woman not just because of the round playground she may be carrying behind her, I still feel a deep bond with a woman each time I see something like the pic above. And By deep bond I mean that I would sell my soul to lick it.

They say that beauty is only skin deep but that’s generally ugly people’s way of making themselves feel better about having to put pork chops in their pants so the dog will eat their pants I guess.

Whatever, pork or none Brooklyn Decker is one hawt piece of perfect and in my opinion she is right up there with Megan and Olivia as far as looks go and that’s saying something since I’m just an autograph away from stalking those two.

So anyway I don’t think that Brooklyn is a big star and she may never be because she appears to love posing for pictures way too much to do much more than just be a supermodel… like that’s a bad thing.

Of course I could be wrong and Mrs. Decker could be the next Natalie Portman but with slightly larger boobies. But then again if Kate Hudson, Keira Knightly, and Portman can become big hollywood movie stars without a cup between them then if Brooklyn gets butt naked and fucks in a sextape it’s all over for the rest of them. I’ve already read that it’ll be a cold day in hell before Megan Fox does a sex scene with real nudity (BITCH!) and that’s just not fair, damn it.

I’ve invested hours at google image finding pictures of Megan to spank it to and have only found the topless ones she’s pissed about and none of them even show a nipple… A NIPPLE.. can’t a guy just get a peak?!?!

Being connected to the web for years and you come to realize something… there’s a butt load of hot women out there that get naked. Sure back before they came up with this whole internet thingy there was no shortage of nudie mags. Playboy, hustler, swank, etc were all under my mattress as a teen but they were kind of a pain since one rarely wants to stroke it to the same picture there’s always that awkward moment right before the fireworks as to whether or not this chick should be lucky enough to recieve the “award”. Thus beginning what I like to call the uncertainty flip around stage of magazine masturbation. You know what I mean, you frantically search for the right page before you … you (UGH DAMN IT).

Well, the internet put a stop to that pretty much as a fella can have many many browsers loaded and ready to take on the challenge. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The girl in the pic above is named Iveta B by the website(s) she takes pictures for and she’s one of the first girls I saw back in the day and thought “Oh I’m gonna love you tonight”. Sofa King hot, if you know what I mean.

Iveta B gallery if you are interested in seeing why she cranks my tractor. Image 11 will pretty much paint the scene nicely. Just look and don’t touch because I shall endeavor to make her mine at some point and I don’t want her all greasy.

Here’s your chance people… Bar Refaeli is single and all ready to mingle. Hell, it might as well be you sniffing around her nappy dugout. Now, I’ve never been the sharpest marble in the bag, or something along those lines but I can never see breaking up with someone so fine as long as she isn’t letting others tap that ass.

Then again, maybe Bar is just that hot. It’s not like I haven’t been cheated on many many times… I blame Jesus.

But I digress… so we’ll probably never get a taste of the real thing but we always have the pics that she has been kind enough to take for me.. er I meant you. Because would you just look at those breasts, it the things dreams are made of.

And by be I mean “be inside of” and by be inside of I mean that I want to be inside of Blake Lively while she is wearing this hot little schoolgirl outfit for the gossip girl show she plays in.

Holy freakin damn!

I just had to find a place to upload the larger version of this Blake Lively schoolgirl pic for you… even though you haven’t done anything for me lately (hint)

(please note this image is not served on my site but the image is there)

Some things in life just make you question whether or not there’s a god and perhaps we are just cosmic dust floating in a sea of nothingness.

This picture is not one of those things. Tell me how the hell does a woman that fine exist? beautiful blonde with cowboy hat and the most erect nipples that i have ever seen… oh there’s a god alright and he is torturing me until I die.

Of course the image did not name who this perfect female is and so I must go on longing. And speaking of things getting longer, let me excuse myself to be with um myself.

If anyone every doubted that there was a god they need only look at Veronika Zemanova and know that they will never get anyone as freaking over the top hot as this beautiful creature.

Hey, I didn’t say god liked you. Did you see those tits? I said GOD (wait for it… wait for it) DAMN !!! I’m usually the type to say something crass like “I’d break that pussy” or “They would need a treasure map to find my cock in her ass” but honestly seeing her naked would probably reduce me to tears and how good could the sex be when I’d have to stop often to use a tissue to blow my nose. You know, what with all the childlike sobbing and wimpering.

Then again who knows, I just might kill the poonanny. No seriously, did you see those tits on Veronika? Ohhh my!

Nothing says lovin like a nice big ole set of titties and Lindsay Lohan seems to fit the bill nicely. At least most of the time she does because every now and again I think she diets too much or has the doctor remove her implants. For shame Lindsay