I Said Goddamn!

I swear when I first got AOL over ten years ago I was amazed at all of the porn avail online. And I don’t mean just those trashy looking broads that filled the pages of Juggs or any number of dirty magazines that lay beneath my mattress as a teen.

No the women spreading in digital photos were something I hadn’t seen before… fucking hot. And I don’t mean airbrushed bitches like in Playboy (don’t even get me started) but these girls were natural and, at least in my mind, perfect.

So for a few years I marveled at those naked chicks that I found through search engines and damn near beat my weenie into a mess that I started to fear would never rebound into it’s fairly normal shape.

But with any great thing it becomes only good and I sought out some of the nastier side of the web sex scene. Yep, hot nude chicks no longer got me to the happy place that only a few year earlier would have been made possible simply by thumbing through one of my parent’s National Geographics (Goddamn bush titties rocked!).

So my travels across the internet became a journey of one disgusting fetish after another… women who like to be peed on, men with boobs, “is she really gonna let that dog… OMG!!!” type of porn hit my desktop. Was the internet that Al Gore created turning me into a perverted poon hound with little or no social life and disregard for any moral teachings that were ever preached to me by various people?

Even to this day I worry that I may have become a lesser person because of the filth that I have downloaded. But in reality I have to admit that long before there was home computer, I was interested in all types of sexual things. I won’t get into my youth but let’s just say that my grandmother would die just from the visuals.

Speaking of grandmothers, one of the first sites I ran across was one called Voyeur Web (google that… I’ll wait). My first thoughts about this site was that I had hit the freakin poontang goldmine. Thousands of nekkid amateurs showing off to the world and it was all free. Hot damn, no more subscriptions to stupid magazines for me. Besides, no browser made will put you at risk of a paper cut when you are about to “release the beast”. But you have been warned about the oldness and with the reality of normal women comes with it flab and wrinkles and things Charlie Daniels didn’t even have in mind when he wrote Wooley Swamp.

But one thing you didn’t have to worry about when sticky pages together back in the day was viruses. No I don’t mean VD, I mean those horible little computer gremlins that infest your pc and render it virtually useless depending on severity.

Oh that is no fun and I swear that looking at porn has been the death of almost all of my computers. Aside from a few times that I can blame on hardware failures, the rest just stopped loading things and no attempts to restore them would work, at least no like before.

And while I’m at it, don’t you hate the fact that teens these days do no want for sex in any way. With sexting (sending nudes through your phone) becoming so bad that there are commercials about it and google image (with filter off) holding more sick photos than I ever saw pre 90 it’s no wonder kids today are flat out fucking on dance floors. Dirty Dancing back in the day was something I thought would never improve but to see the dry humping going on at youtube, it’s crazy!

So it’s never hard to find porn and getting it free has always been fairly easy… if you don’t mind viruses, ads that resize windows or even overwrite your settings, and redirects. Yea it’s easy but only if you don’t have a type of smut that you love the best.

These days I still p2p some things, google image others, and there are even a few “boards” that I hit up (when I’m looking for amateur hotness) but for the most part I have decided that I now make decent money and have membership to sites that crank my tractor. Hell, I know what you are thinking.. there isn’t a site out there that hasn’t been ripped but the problem is that I would rather be a member for 2 months @ $30 than have to deal with getting another damn dell or hp. If you’ve ever lost 10 years worth of info because a virus took your shit out then you know what I mean.

Also, a external harddrive doesn’t hurt either. But never trust a flashdrive with your stash. I had ten gigs or so wiped out just because I prematurly pulled the damn key drive out before the light went off. UGH! I now have a nice 500gig external in which I trust to not only hold my shameful pix and videos but also my work… if you can call this work. Hopefully I will not lose that information if the current dell craps out.

I am also trying to get off on the more simple pleasures of nudity that the web offers… Take the following pic of Megan Fox..

is it real, NO, does that matter to me, NO because Megan is far hotter than any chick I ever saw in a mag stolen from my father’s top dresser drawer.. and it’s gonna have to be all I need tonight because I refuse to download another interracial gangbang video. It’s just wrong, damn it.. WRONG! And did I mention that I love me some naked celebs??

Don’t get me wrong, I still love the hard stuff. It’s just I feel “internet pretty” attitude has long since invaded my opinion on what real life hotness is and because there are so many girls willing to do guys who look like me and you, for the right money, it’s hard to go to the mall and see all those girls, who are no way near as cute as the babes who look me in the eyes every night and love me at least until I close my internet explorer.

I really should spellcheck this post but Megan is calling to me… “yes my sweet, I did remember to bring the lotion.

Later