I Said Goddamn!

If you are anything like me, you watch movies to escape either a tragic life or maybe just a rough day. In that case you know how much it burns my ass up to spend 10-20 dollars of my semi-hard earned money at (insert store name) only to find that the money you’ve just spent has been pissed away on some horid excuse for a movie.

Case in point was that wreck of a flick with Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl, Knocked Up. In the commercials I found myself drawn into the humor and of course since the ads were running on tv you really had no idea that once you hit play on the twenty dollar dvd that you’d basically be subjected to “FUck fuckity fuck fuck. Fucky fucky i’m pregnant fucky fuck fuck fuck-a-mazoo”

Much like Life Aquatic, I had to just pull the movie out and just sit there in disgust. I mean not since the jim carrey majestic disaster have I been so upset that a movie didn’t bring what it promised. I mean it’s Jim Fucking Carrey…. I don’t want drama from Jim Carrey. I want him to light his nutsack on fire and make crazy faces in the process.

Speaking of nutsacks on fire, let me rant a little about a movie called Stick It. The commercials had me all ready for two guys that were all excited because they were getting to see a bunch of hot gymnists and virtually every seen either showed sexy or those two rascals but oh no… no no no, when the movie was purchased I found that not only were the two funny guys not a big part of the flick but you didn’t see them at all and sexy… THERE WAS NO SEXY! Well, aside from that Haley girl, played by Missy Peregrym, and she’s hotter than turtle nuts on the highway but still it wasn’t as promised.

And OM freaking G I hate that hairlip douche who played the coach. He doesn’t have but one facial expression and it sucks. Hell if Ben Stiller can pull Blue Steel outta his ass, then Jeff Bridges could do something ARGH! Please stop giving that moron work!

Missy is a babe though…